12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize