I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
he quoted the bible to break up with me
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
