He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
fuck your aforementioned shoe
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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