I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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