I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
