i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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