so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Randomize
