quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
