As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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