I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
