Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
