It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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