There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
