First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
