Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
