if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
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This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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