how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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