The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
