That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
