I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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