We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
