im drinking this country out of the recession.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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