i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
