My first STD was from a foam party
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
