U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
