Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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