Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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