I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Can I color on your dick again?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
