so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
