sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
