I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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