my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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