Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
