Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize