I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
