I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
