i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.