I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
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you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
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I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.