Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Mom said you looked used
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.