i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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