So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
