I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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