At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
In America we eat man semen.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
