I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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