He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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