your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
