i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
