He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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