I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
