I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
