i always forget guys have bellybuttons
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
do nipples grow back?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
