The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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