this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
