i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
