She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
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