Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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