just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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