speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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