Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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