Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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