This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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