ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
