Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
