Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
