very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
