brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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