i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize