i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
