I just made out with a guy for $7.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
